About being beautiful #1

In one of the films I saw today, there was a Danish guy who was, at least by my standards, noticeably good-looking. Let's put it like this, he had short hair and I found him rather attractive, now this is not something you hear frequently from me. And what caught my attention was how in a conversation with some friend of his he mentioned how he wasn't attractive. Yep, yet another gorgeous person thinking he doesn't look good enough. Sheesh!

It's not like there is any one set of "requirements for perfection" here. Even if something like that were to be created, it wouldn't really show anything that matters, it'd just be this artificial system some model agencies might use for picking out the people they'd want to work for them. If your dream is to become a model and you don't fulfill these criteria, then sure, it's understandable that you'd be frustrated by your appearance. But even then, that wouldn't mean you'd be seen as ugly or unattractive by other people. Actually, in everyday life it seems like appearance doesn't really matter that much at all.

Think about the people you know and their relations with the opposite sex. Are there not guys and girls, who despite being some of the most gorgeous people you know, don't get noticed, while others of more mediocre appearance enjoy immense popularity? Now, being considered attractive by the opposite sex (or same sex, depending on your orientation) is probably the main driving force behind our desire to look appealing. Basically all those instincts of reproduction, etc. Of course, there's also the general social position etc, you have to conform to certain norms of appearance to be accepted and viewed in a positive way. The latter is probably more about being clean and generally pleasant-looking and mildly conformist than anything more particular.

Going back to being attractive to... opposite sex, same sex, both, other, whatever. I've read that what people consider appealing is people who look "close to the average" or "different from the average". Now that sure gives us a lot to choose from here. :-P Basically option 1 is "relatively free from 'imperfections'", but at the same time could be seen as "ordinary/boring/not very striking". Option 2 is "unique, stands out in the crowd and gets your attention", but - as with all things "different" - such attention could be both positive and negative. If you were to think about what you consider attractive, and then ask your friends the same question, you'd probably find that opinions differ, to put it mildly. You might even discover that the same traits that one finds highly attractive, another finds repulsive and yet another doesn't care either way and stresses something else altogether.

So basically you've got a lot of different people saying a lot of different things. Might there be some general similarities there? Sure. But probably every apparent "rule" is going to have some exceptions. You know the whole "beautiful women have to be thin" idea? Guess what, I know a guy for whom a girl has to be overweight to appear attractive. Just because some people don't like the way you look, doesn't mean it applies to everybody. Actually, there are always bound to be some people who don't like the way you look, or at least don't find it attractive. So if for you, being beautiful = being liked by everybody... then you might want to think this one over twice.