Written a while ago. Enjoy. Comments would be appreciated.
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I remember in September and October of that year I often lay awake at night, feeling too overwhelmed by the small events of my life that I could not sleep. I tossed and turned and finally just lay still with my eyes open, looking around, trying to overcome that fear of monsters in the dark that should've left me along with my childhood. Sometimes I ended up pulling the blanket over my head and trying to will myself to sleep. Other times I felt at one with the night and prayed for those illusory fears to turn out to be my real allies. Prayed the morning never came, or that someone flew through the window and took me away to a world where mornings didn't matter.
Then there were those times. The times I looked at the curtains and saw something behind them. A figure, a human figure, that could not be explained away by anything my frantic night-mind tried to come up with. If I closed my eyes, it would be gone by the time I opened them again. In the daytime, I reprimanded myself for the terror that small mystery of the unknown evoked in me at first. On the nights I prayed for salvation, I yearned to see that shadow again. On the fearing-the-monsters nights, though, dread overcame me even at the thought.
Once, when it was there again on a praying night, I got out of bed and went to look behind the curtains. There was nobody there, and the streets were entirely empty and quiet. But some white rose petals were floating in the air, carried by the wind, just outside of my window. I stayed up long, thinking and wishing, after the last one had disappeared from sight. I wondered if, perhaps if I had reached out my hands and got hold of just one, it would've somehow brought my dreams to me. Being the good daughter that I was, though, I didn't dare to try opening my window in the middle of the night. That would've woken up my parents sleeping in the next room.
* * *
It was the last week of October. I was walking home from a birthday party which, as I had realised, I shouldn't have gone to in the first place. I wasn't really supposed to be returning by myself, but that felt like the last thing I cared about at that moment. I couldn't have stayed. I didn't really want to go home, either, though. There'd just be my parents waiting for me, welcoming me in a way that, I was sure, would make me wish I'd died before my arrival. Just thinking about that already made me feel it. Combined with the emotions from the party I had left, the idea of something happening seemed quite appealing. Until I saw the body, that was.
There was a man lying on the street ahead of me, obviously dead, judging by the huge pool of blood that had formed around him. Light from the streetlamps didn't reach him so I couldn't tell how he had been killed, but it had obviously been violent. I definitely did not want to take a closer look. Suddenly the dangers of walking alone at night in suspicious neighbourhoods dawned on me very clearly. Someone had attacked that man, and probably not too long ago. What if the person or group was still around? The area seemed deserted, ominously so. I couldn't hear anything except the low hum of electricity. Anxiety grew in me until it turned into something primal, an almost animal fear of being chased by predators – and there were predators, they had left their mark on that street that night.
I turned around and walked, almost ran the opposite way, wanting nothing more than to get away from there. My home, that party I'd left, anywhere seemed fine compared to being open prey to those lurking in the shadows. The streets were too silent. There were no cars, no people moving around. I turned a few times, trying to remember the best way to get home. Only when I walked into a blind alley did I realise that I was lost. A moment later, the predators caught me.
There were four of them, huge and ugly. They approached me from the open end of the street, leaving nowhere to escape to. As I backed away into the darkness, they followed until finally surrounding me. I noticed one was wearing a thick golden chain. At some signal from him, two of the other men grabbed my arms and the third one held a knife against my throat. I was frozen on the spot as the last bit of my rational mind dissolved in the ocean of pure animal terror.
„Oh my, look at what we've got here! What you doing out here all alone like that, cute little thing? Looking for some excitement, huh? Well, so are we! And we're going to have some, too.“ He smirked menacingly. „Now, if you're just a nice little girl and cooperate, you'll enjoy this along with all of us here.“ He grabbed my legs in an attempt to lift me up. That was the last thing he did.
It was like a whirlwind had gone through the place. Moments later, I was free and the thugs had disappeared somewhere, leaving behind the knife and long trails of blood. Everything was silent again. I remained standing, still frozen, unable to comprehend what was going on.
Then I saw him. He was standing further away, looking at me. In the dim light of distant streetlamps, I could barely discern his features. There was only the feeling. Something emanated from him, a sense of the night and a mysterious power that attracted me, even though I didn't quite know what it was just yet. He took a few steps towards me, then stopped again and bowed. „My name is Raphael. I am...“ An angel, a dark angel? I thought. „...not an angel, though.“ He was silent for a minute, and I felt it was my turn to say something, but uttering so much as a simple greeting seemed beyond my mental capacity. As I was trying to get my mind to work, he just watched me quietly, with his head slightly tilted to the right, as if wondering about something.
„Hello.“ Barely louder than a whisper. It felt like it had taken me ages to say it. „I'm...“ What was my name? I couldn't remember it despite the most frantic attempts. „Vivian,“ he finished softly and continued approaching me. A foot or two away he remained standing. „I have something for you.“ I noticed only then that he was holding a white rose in his right hand. With his left, he touched my shoulder lightly. „May I?“ Slowly and tentatively he ran his fingers along my arm, down over the elbow to the wrist, then again from the shoulder down the other side till reaching the palm. I could barely feel it through the clothes.
Gently he took my hand into his and with a slight bow gave me the rose. He then placed both his hands on my shoulders and continued running his fingers over my arms, neck, back, almost as if trying to understand the feel of me. It was strangely soothing, powerfully so in its subtlety. Slowly it brought back the awareness that I did, in fact, have a living, moving body beyond my overworking brain. Finally he touched my head, and with a few strokes my mind, too, was unfrozen. Mostly though, my tears, which didn't seem to care about my futile attempts to keep them from flowing. I turned my head away to at least try not to show him I was crying. It didn't matter, he could see me anyway, and as he wiped the tears away with his fingers I only thought about how noone had ever touched me that way before.
I looked at Raphael again. There was something different about him, a dreamy longing look had appeared in his eyes that were glowing faintly in the twilight. His eyes were glowing? A shiver ran through me. So he wasn't human after all. Facing him like that suddenly felt too close for comfort. The yearning in his gaze... I didn't know if it was part of some deep spiritual connection, or just the hunger of a predator, the true predator of the night I'd never been taught about. Who was he? What did he want from me?
He closed his eyes, and as he leaned on me slightly in an attempt to keep his balance I suddenly realised he was close to falling. „Are you all right? What's wrong?“ The words came out smoothly in a whisper. Somehow I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer to my question.
Raphael returned his gaze on me. „I need blood.“ After a pause, „Much blood.“ Another pause. Looking down, with strange emotion, „Your blood.“ Silence.
A vampire. I was alone on a blind alley with a vampire. Although I doubted being in the middle of a crowd would've made any difference if he really wanted me. For a moment I felt like running, getting away as fast as possible, but exhaustion from the night's events was taking its toll even on those basic instincts of survival. Raphael had regained his balance and was in his turn keeping me from losing mine. I tried to get a better look at his face, but could see little more than the light in his eyes. He didn't seem like a brutal murderer. The thought of death felt terrifying, but not in the way it had just minutes before when I'd been cornered by the bandits. I could sense the warmth from his hands; even then it was still soothing. Somehow I knew he didn't want to hurt me. Kill, yes, but... „Will it be very painful?“ „Not at all, if I don't let it be.“ For a moment he was silent. „I won't let it be.“
Neither of us spoke again for a minute. I thought about my family, my school, things I'd go back to if I lived. Remembered all the times I'd wished for death before, imagined all the times I'd wish for it again if I survived. There wouldn't be a better day, a better chance. To him, at least, my blood would be of use. With him, at least, I wouldn't face the end entirely alone. I wondered what it would feel like, that lethal moment of closeness. Would he hold me, give me one last taste of warmth before it was all over? One taste more than I could hope to have.
„I guess it is a good way to die. The chance of a lifetime, even.“ I tried to smile, but without success. „What happens now?“ He didn't answer. For another moment, he gazed at me, his eyes so intense, full of emotion. Then, quietly, in a murmur, „You won't die.“ Barely having said that, he lowered his head to my neck. I tried to let go, and as he sucked my blood, I felt a coldness grow within until it took over everything else. Before the darkness came, I could only sense his tears burn, falling on my skin.
3 comments:
sugoi des ^^
sümpaatne.
Quite nice, yes.
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