Individualism, individuality, altruism and modern society

I don't know about you, but I keep hearing people say "individualistic" and mean "selfish" all the time. Of course, a word has the meaning that is given to it. But you might find it interesting to know that for the scientists who study culture and society, the above equation is by no means a sure thing.

In fact - sorry I can't remember the original article - it's been found that members of individualistic cultures are actually more helpful to others when they're not part of their in-group (family, friends, etc).

One might say that for an individualist, there is me and there is the rest of mankind, "me" and "them". For a collectivist, the "me" is not so important, it's a part of "us". But that "us" is really a small group of people that belong together with the person, and the rest of the world is once again "them".

Now, this was the kind of thinking that kept you alive in the Stone Age, and even today the vast majority of cultures are still collectivist. One could say that's the default state of things for human beings, social animals as we are. You can only survive as part of a group and therefore the well-being of that group is important. The worst that could happen to you is being left out, so no matter what demands or limitations the group might set for you, it is better to comply than do your own thing and risk rejection. You serve the greater whole of the group and that in its turn provides for you. There's a very clear line between the people that are part of your tribe and people who are not, and a stranger is not to be trusted.

Perhaps not quite such a life-and-death matter since we moved out of caves and into skyscrapers, that tendency still quite obviously persists. Everywhere, including the cultures we call individualistic. I suppose that's why so many people criticise contemporary society as one that induces conformity, isn't sufficiently meritocratic, etc. Well, guess what, the very fact that there are people out there who openly express such opinion shows that we've come a long way since the days when conformity was not just the best, but the only choice for pretty much everybody. We now live in a world that allows people to go out and do their thing, even if it does make following the path of one's heart quite difficult at times. You won't be stoned to death for disobeying your parents, and if you're not happy with your marriage you can go and find a more suitable partner. Disregarding at the moment the potential arguments over whether this is a good or a bad thing for a society, I think it's safe to say that we're more free to make our own decisions about out lives than we've ever been before.

And I think that perhaps this is the next step in our cultural evolution, made possible by the progress of science and technology. Perhaps it's the first time we can afford people acting as individuals and not just parts of a larger group.

As for me, I'm just curious to see where this is all going.

Sometimes I surprise myself

Today I had my first fluent conversation with some Spanish people (in Spanish). After two hours of lectures where I understood about 99% of what the lecturer was saying. Now, I know languages come easy for me and I also know that if you're actually surrounded by a language, you learn quickly. But this quickly? Though hey, I'm perfectly happy with that. But, like, so if I spent a month in France, I could be fluent in French? I'm going to guess my Finnish and German would need a bit of grammar revision before trying the same... but. Wow. I always assumed there was something unique about English. Maybe the unique thing is just my fascination with it.

Gosh, I should really learn some more languages properly.

Foreign country stuff

So then. I'm in a country that's obsessed with meat, smoking, sports and bull fights. Hundreds of kilometres from the nearest beach and very close to the historical birthplaces of the Franco regime and the Inquisiton.

Then again, I'm also in a country that just had two weeks of 30+ degree weather in September, in a town that houses one of the oldest universities in the world and a museum that has some, uh, shall we say interesting content (yeah, I know, the New World Order will take me to the reptiloid dungeons if I say this one aloud).

And pray tell, where are all those promised guys with long hair? Oh well, I guess I'll just have to go around staring at the ancient buildings on the streets. :-P

Home away from home

Gerly was here. She's on her way to Seville now. Last night we danced. 5 rhythms. And talked. For hours. I felt as though I were home.

I do feel great in this place where I live. This room is just excellent. Something about it just makes me feel really good and comfortable, when I look around I just enjoy what I see. I actually feel so good here I don't want to leave it that much. Which might not be all that great as far as developing a social life is concerned, but it's very nice for doing things by myself, and just relaxing as well. I was definitely lucky to find this place.

Meeting Gerly again was wonderful. It seems that no matter what's going on in her life, she inspires me. And now, she's on a journey, an adventure herself. And meeting up with her seems to have been exactly what I needed. To wake up. To remember some things again. It is good to know she's here, just a few hours away.

I don't feel the compulsive need to go out and meet everyone else in town within the next two weeks. So what, that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I'm doing that at my own pace - and I am doing that - and in the meanwhile there are other things that are important for me that I'm doing as well. I'm really glad to be doing those other things really. And in the end, isn't feeling good about what you're doing that which matters the most?

Books read sept 2008 - aug 2009

And yes, I know it's depressingly short this year. What can I say, I had a life outside books.

• Dennis Greenberger, Christine A. Padesky "Mõistus juhib tundeid"
• Roman Dobrzynski "Zamehofi tänav"
• Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton & Sheila Heen "Rasked kõnelused"
• Jean Rhys "Wide Sargasso Sea"
• Dion Fortune "The Sea Priestess"
• Dion Fortune "Sane Occultism"
• Marshall Rosenberg "Vägivallatu suhtlemine"
• Hermann Hesse "Peter Camenzind"
• Geert Kimpen "Kabalist"
• Hermann Hesse "Demian"
• Israel Regardie "What You Should Know About the Golden Dawn"
• Andrzej Sapkowski "The Last Wish"
• Carol Topolski "Monster Love"
• Mary Sparrowdancer "The Love Song of the Universe"
• Evelyn Waugh "Peotäis põrmu"
• Robert B. Cialdini "Mõjustamise psühholoogia"
• Rita Carter "Consciousness"
• Kate Middleton "Eating Disorders"
• Michael Newton "Destiny of Souls"
• John Galsworthy "Kaasaegne komöödia II"
• Jennie Austin "Praktiseerime reiki't"
• Arthur C. Clarke & Gentry Lee "Rama Revealed"
• Arthur C. Clarke & Gentry Lee "The Garden of Rama"
• Elizabeth Gilbert "Söö, palveta, armasta"
• Arthur C. Clarke & Gentry Lee "Rama II"
• Neale Donald Walsch "Jutuajamised Jumalaga 2"
• George R. R. Martin "A Feast For Crows"
• George R. R. Martin "A Storm of Swords 2: Blood and Gold"
• Luule Viilma "Ellujäämise õpetus II"
• Paulo Coelho "Kurat ja preili Prym"
• Paulo Coelho "Portobello nõid"
• J. K. Rowling "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"
• Umberto Eco "Roosi nimi"
• Dion Fortune "The Machinery of the Mind"
• Dion Fortune "The Mystical Qabalah"

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I'm getting the feeling that I'll be doing as much studying as in Estonia, for fewer credit points. At least that's the impression that currently strikes me when I look at my (likely, theoretical) timetable. Or, OK, more precisely I'll be spending as much time sitting listening to lectures. How much studying I'll be doing, I'm yet to find out. In any case, tomorrow is going to be a nice long day with classes from 10 am to 7 pm. Listening to monologues in Spanish for lengthy periods of time. If I'm still alive by the end of the day, I'll probably have converted my mind into a Spanish one.

Ja elu läheb vaikselt käima

Täna on lõpuks ometi see suurepärane päev, kui ma saan ennast jälle inimese moodi tunda. Ehk ma sain täna endale raamatukogu kaardi. Kaks esimest hispaaniakeelset teost laenutatud ka. Ja tundub, et sotsiaalne värk hakkab ka lõpuks hoogu juurde saama. Täna tutvusin ühe tüdrukuga, kes miskipärast meenutab mulle Danit, kuigi tegelikult NII palju ühist justkui pole. Must kübar ja blondid juuksed ilmselt. Igal juhul esmamulje põhjal tundub tore ja huvitav.

Et jah, so far so good. :)

:)

Ma olin just tunnistajaks nähtusele, mida võin igasuguste reservatsioonideta nimetada oma senise elu kõige vägevamaks tulevärgiks, mis mu silme ette sattunud on. Käisin mööda linna ringi, sotsialiseerusin (vahelduseks). Ja.. hmm... ma vaatan sellist sarja praegu nagu "The 4400". Vahel tundub, et tegelikkus polegi sellest nii väga kaugel.

Ja muljed jätkuvad

Patrimonio de la Humanidad ehk inimkonna kultuuripärand. Alates 1988. aastast kuulub nende kohtade nimekirja ka Salamanca vanalinn. Täitsa uued on aga valged autod, mis mööda linna ringi sõidavad ja mille peal on kiri "patrimonio limpio" ehk "puhas pärand". Miskipärast kõlab see sõnakombinatsioon minu jaoks tohutult naljakalt. Samas idee on muidugi igati tore ja rõõmustav. Ja eks tegelikult ongi nii, pärast kõike seda, mis ma lõunapoolsete maade prügi igale poole viskamise kommetest kuulnud olen, tundub Salamanca ikka täitsa üllatavalt puhas olevat. Mitte küll ideaalselt puhas, aga ainult paaris üksikus kohas on mingi risu tõesti silma riivanud.

Viimased kaks päeva olen rahulikult võtnud, käinud natuke mööda muuseume ja kunstinäitusi ja suht palju ka niisama oma toas istunud ja muusikat kuulanud või lugenud. Mis kõlab ilmselt nagu viimane asi, mida võiks tahta teha kohe pärast uude kohta kolimist, aga tegelikult tundub see hetkel tarvilik. Nii palju on käimist ja suhtlemist ja plaanimist ja tegutsemist olnud. Ja ma usun, et juba täitsa varsti tuleb seda veel ja veel. Natuke on vaikust ja rahu ka vahepeale vaja.

Hmm, mis veel. Viimased paar ööd on juba normaalselt magada võimalik olnud. Aga pärastlõunaks on ikka nii 30+ kraadi sooja. Mis mulle hetkel täiesti sobib ja meeldib. :)

Sunday morning in Salamanca

It's kind of strange to be in this new place where I know almost nobody, but could get to know almost anybody. So far I've spent a minimal amount of time making acquaintances and know about half a dozen people in the town. I suspect it's going to change some time very soon. But it's an interesting situation to be in, a new one for me really. When I was in Pärnu, I interacted with few people, but then again I never really believed there were that many more there I'd have something important in common with anyway. In Tartu, even when I first arrived there, I was immediately surrounded by people I'd met during olympiads or some other events or on the net, and also many of the people I'd interacted with in Pärnu also moved to Tartu with me. But here, I'm confident there are many people I'd be interested in getting to know - but so far I've not yet had a chance to meet them. It gives me a kind of feeling of being right in the middle of the process of creation, of creating this whole new life for myself here. I don't know yet what it will be like, but I imagine that whatever the end result will be, it will tell me a whole lot more about what kind of a person I am. So, exciting times ahead. :)

Greetings from the other side...

So here I am, in Salamanca. In my new room, which has one of the best possible placements for a psychology student in the town: around the middle of the way between the the centre of the town (the position of which is not really in the physical centre) and the psychology faculty... now who in their right mind puts a faculty in the other end of the town? It's like the last building on the long road out of here. Not that one could call any distance long around here, mind you. Wikipedia says that the area of Salamanca is 0,2 square km larger than that of Tartu, but for some reason, I just keep having the impression it's smaller. Maybe there are some more distant areas that I simply haven't been to yet and which add to the area, but you could probably get from one end of the town to the other in an hour.

Even though the distances seem smaller, the town itself feels a lot more like a city. There are lots of people on the streets, lots of activity, tiny little shops everywhere you look. They do have some supermarket chains, but you won't see them at first. What you do see is fruit shops and bakeries and all kinds of other places like that. I've heard that's how it used to be everywhere before. I guess Spain has slightly more traditions to adhere to than Estonia does... What's kind of sad though is just how little nature there seems to be around here. At home, I used to take it for granted that a town would be green all over, but here you're lucky to find a tree or two in some small square. Right now it doesn't bother me cause there's too much to explore in the town itself, but I suspect at some point it might begin to disturb me more.

But then again, there are all the historical buildings here to get to know. There's even a bridge from the Roman times. And I do hope I won't just be staying here all the time, it'd be nice to see the rest of Spain as well. For now, of course, just getting to know Salamanca is quite enough. I've been here for five days now, and I've only really got to know the streets: what is where, how to move around without getting lost without having your nose in the map all the time, etc. Even where I have actually entered a place, I've only managed to get a first impression, a superficial impression. The centuries and centuries of history present here deserve a lot more.

Anyway, I could go on and on and on, but I think this is enough of first impressions for now. I'm gradually becoming acquainted with the place, finding my way around, getting to know a person or two. It's just the beginning... it's nice to experience a beginning really. Being aware of all these opportunities open to you. Now it's just a matter of going ahead and exploring them. :)