Bittersweet

Life in transition. Change is the only constant. I have good memories with people I once saw reflecting my ideals. Moments of inspiration. It's worth being thankful for. It's okay to move on. So what if my path isn't one that involves lifelong connections with childhood friends. I'm not about roots that way, the traditional way it works. Whatever my roots may be, I need to find them myself, make the connection as a discerning adult. I'm growing up and the things I used to consider absolute are not necessarily so any more. In the end, they may just be habits. Maybe my "bests" weren't that in any absolute way, they just happened to be the most oustanding ones in the context of my environment. Maybe the fact that I can see that context better now doesn't mean whatever comes new is worth less. Zen - seeing the world through the eyes of a child. The awe, the appreciation of what is so easy to take for granted. And being willing to put the necessary effort into it. Relationships of all kind are about time and attention and growing together. Forming a "we" beyond people's individual identities. Minds and hearts and story lines intertwined.

Five of Cups. Something lost, something remains. In the face of all my illusions going poof there is one old connection that's just growing stronger by the day. A beautiful friendship that I hope will last for long to come.