Saturday, February 9, 2008


I met up with Elise and Gerly today. I've rarely had a chance to spend much time talking with Gerly despite having always wanted to do so. She was always so busy... still is, I guess. Now she and Gerda are in Tallinn and I'm in Tartu. It's strange to think about it. Strange how much I miss them when I start thinking about it. Especially Gerly, even though we barely ever talked during secondary school. I miss the seed of an extraordinary fire in her soul, even though dormant and hidden behind everyday orderliness most of the time... the glimpses of the actual flames on some few occasions... that very deep and intense and passionate and almost mystic essence that is her, such a beautiful her... I guess it's what you'd need to be an inspired musician. I even miss the more mundane things... damn, I even miss her being the person my mother always said I should be more alike. Well, her and Gerda both really, with all their hard work and determination and achievements.

When I start thinking about it, they're far from being the only ones once present in my life and now... I don't know. I guess that's just how it goes. I don't mind really... changes are good. I just wish there was more of her kind of inspiration in my current world. ...or at any time in my life, really. I guess she's always been one of a kind. I'm afraid I'd need to find someone like a true creative genius to find such beautiful intensity anywhere else.

Oh well, I guess one more reason to go for working with the gifted.

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