I don't really like the limitations of reality. Aware of them again. Only so much that I can do. Only so much that a person born at a certain time and place, to a particular family in a particular environment can do. Depends on where the currents are going, where the borders are set.
There are things one can potentially change or achieve - there, too, a lot depends on what one is given from birth, talents and personality and the like. But other places one can go to only if one is born on the right side of the border. There are things I can never be in this lifetime. Of course it doesn't really matter when seen from a broader perspective. Then again, the broader perspective has rarely been favourable for mankind as a whole.
The choices being a second-rate citizen or a speck of dust... in either case evanescent, limited, insignificant. No, I like my fantasies better. There I can be anyone I want.
I guess maybe I'm not so different from J. after all. Perhaps in this one sense he has been more honest to the world than me.