2009

So here it starts again.

Or rather goes on, as the flow of time is continuous and it is only us that see beginnings and endings in it. (Perhaps it is only us that see it flow as well?)

In any case, it's been a wonderful end of the old and beginning of the new year. Looking back on the past 12 months, I've experienced many extremes of emotion and thinking. I've done great in some ways, not so great in others... but always trying to learn what I can from everything. To keep trying my best is my new year's resolution, too. I don't know what the future brings. I'd like to think it brings opportunities for growth and experiencing life to the fullest. Challenges that I can overcome and develop into a better person through. I don't know if I will always do the right thing or if what's ahead is a lot of nice things or difficulties or whatever. I do know I'll keep going and doing what I can to continue growing and evolving. Perfection is far away... I guess that just means there's plenty for me to do around here still. :)

And the people around me... friends... it's wonderful to know they exist. That they will continue existing in this new year. And even just people I know... I hope my social circle continues to expand. It's fascinating to meet someone new. Overall, I've been learning so much from my interactions with those around me. Yet I could be learning so much more. I've not been always open to the possibilities, through some prejudices and old habits in communication. And there's the eternal dilemma of whether to focus on what's going on around or within me... I've been suggested some ideas on how to work with it though. To have both and more, perhaps. I do have so very much to learn in the field of human interaction. But I think - I hope - I'll learn quickly once I've figured out my priorities. In any case, I'm planning to do my best.

Those of you who have followed me this far, thank you for accompanying me on my journey of life. It's been an amazing experience with much to be thankful for... and hopefully even more amazing things ahead. I am happy to know you are around me to share in this. Thank you, and I hope you have a fantastic year ahead of you. :)

Season's Greetings

On the 12th day of Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival my significant other in a consenting, adult, monogamous, relationship gave to me:

Twelve males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming.

Eleven pipers piping (plus an 18 member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract, even though they will not be asked to play a note.)

Ten melanin deprived testosterone poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping.

Nine persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression.

Eight economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk products from enslaved bovine Americans.

Seven endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands.

Six enslaved fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products.

Five golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration.

(After members ofl the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslaavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)

Four hours of recorded whale songs.

Three deconstructionist poets.

Two Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses, and

One Spotted owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Good Kwanzaa,, Blessed Yule, and Happy Holidays*

*unless you are suffering from seasonally affected disorder(SAD). If this is the case, please substitute this gratuitous call for celebration with the suggestion that you have a thoroughly adequate day.

( http://www.psych.upenn.edu/humor.html )

See on siis nüüd läbi

Tühi tunne on. Ma ei tea, mis nüüd edasi tulema peab.

Tänane läks... nagu ta läks. Vabandust kõigi kohaletulnute ees, et ei läinud nii hästi, kui oleks pidanud.

Ja ometigi tähendab see mulle nii palju, et ma seda teha sain.

Kallis blogilugeja, oled kutsutud

Esmaspäeval, 22. detsembril kell 18:00 Lutsu raamatukogu muusikaosakonna saalis toimuvale jõulukontserdile. Esitamisele tulevad vanemad ja uuemad jõululaulud Kristiina, Timo, Mardi ja allakirjutanu poolt. Üritus on mõeldud eeskätt äsjanimetatute sõpradele-tuttavatele, aga avatud kõigile huvitatutele. Raha välja käima ei pea.

Ühesõnaga te kõik olete oodatud :-)

Valgus tunneli... mingis osas?

See oli lahe, kuidas just siis, kui ma Mialee blogi vaatasin, helistas ta mulle ja ütles, et Taliesin tahaks minuga suhelda. Mis oleks ilmselt just see, mida mul hetkel vaja oleks. Eeldusel, et ma suudan vahelduseks normaalse inimese moodi olla. Näis. Igatahes lootustandev.

Aitäh, et te olemas olete. Ka praegu. Eriti praegu.

The primary objective

For my life to be full of inspiration for myself and those around me.

Which is not exactly too detailed... but for now, perhaps quite clear enough.

So now it's 600 pages a day

I just finished reading "Rama Revealed". It was really breathtaking. Making one think about how small and insignificant, and yet at the same time special and unique we are. We do forget about the big picture most of the time, the really big picture that is. Or even the not-so-big, anything outside our immediate surroundings really. It is easier - and mostly much more rational - to just focus on the goings-on of our everyday lives. Is there a grand scheme we're all a part of? Is the Universe based on order or chaos in the end? Or maybe both, in varying degrees? Is there a meaning to all this existence? A purpose for ourselves to fulfil, a goal to reach of some sorts? Or are we simply an evolutionary accident, a bunch of atoms jumbled together in some unlikely fashion? Is there something higher for us to aspire towards, or is all our spiritual searching eventually meaningless?

I don't think any of us can really know the answers to these questions. The ultimate answers, at least. Perhaps the most we can reach are those of our own. Limited, to be sure, but personally inspiring and meaningful. I don't think we could know The Truth. At least not the way we are now, without anyone else further along to guide us - and even then could we ever be sure it was The Real Thing? But at least each one of us can find his or her own path, a light to aspire towards. If there is a higher something... then maybe that spark contains a grain of the greater truth. If there is not... what a cruel thought to have meaning-seeking creatures in a world without any... what we create for ourselves could be the best that we could ever have. Perhaps then, like the miracle of life in the vastness of senseless chaos, we could create that something higher and make it real in the little area of our own existence. Not changing the greater picture, perhaps. But making all the difference for ourselves.